Spoilers: vague season 2
Beta: karera_squid
Word Count: 670
N.B.: It's been so long since I've written anything, I feel positively rusty. This one's a fandom-first for me, which is always a little nerve-wracking. Written for the pic_fic community's January2006 challenge. (image follows story -- not work safe)
Thanks to my beta for the title (I was bringing up a total blank) and speedy turn around.
It was just a flash. The sensation of skin on skin, of holding and being held, of warmth and contentment come and gone in a matter of seconds. It was a good memory, evoked, he supposed, by the gentle beat of sunlight through the window on his back. It was not, however, an appropriate memory for his current circumstances.
John was supposed to be focusing on stillness and the present moment, focusing on the now, not letting his mind wander. The Ritani clerics had been adamant about being unwilling to trade with the Atlantians unless he successfully completed the meditation ritual.
John hated meditating. Despite his somewhat lackadaisical approach to life, he wasn’t very good at simply being. He had too many responsibilities, too many lives dependent on him, to just let go like that. Rarely, he managed brief moments like what the clerics had described to him, but they were always found in Rodney’s presence. Some came after sex, as their bodies cooled and fluids dried between them while they clung to one another for a few precious moments. Others came in quiet moments during meals, or while watching the sun set from one of Atlantis’ balconies, just he and Rodney.
He had no idea how the clerics were going to determine if he had been successful at the meditation. The motives behind the ritual were, he gathered, to assure the clerics that those they dealt with possessed both patience and respect for the Ritani culture. John couldn’t blame them for their caution, but he wished Teyla could have been the one doing this instead of him. John was the leader, though, so she could not take his place. It had to be him.
Unfortunately, his thoughts kept wandering; worry that the clerics would somehow know that he was not properly focussed was making him tense and fidgety. The thoughts of Rodney, in particular, gave him the urge to jump to his feet and go see what the other man was doing, even though he knew that Rodney was most likely harassing both the clerics and his team mates out of boredom while they waited for John to complete the ritual. The image made him smile a little, before he shook himself and tried to relax again.
The door to the meditation chamber swung open, and familiar footsteps moved in, paused to shut the door, then came closer before pausing again.
John opened his eyes to look up at his visitor and, with raised eyebrows, said, “Rodney?”
“Colonel, I was ... ah, getting a little, um, bored out there, I guess you’d say, and the clerics said it’d be okay if I, ah, joined you. You know, for the ritual.”
“You thought a meditation ritual would be less boring than tea and small talk?”
“I’d rather sit quietly with you than try to make pleasant conversation with religious ... people, yes.”
Rodney wore an expression that was his own peculiar cross between defiance and anxiety, as if he half expected John to chastise him and tell him that he had to go back out and make nice with the natives instead of hide in here with him. John just smiled and said, “In that case, pull up some floor, Rodney. Make yourself at home.”
That earned him a crooked grin, and Rodney lowered himself to the floor, mirroring John’s pose as he crossed his legs and rested his hands on his knees. He was so close, a little twitch of John’s fingers brought them into momentary contact. They shared a gentle smile, and John let his eyes slide closed again.
With no sound in the sunlit room but the soft shusshing of his and his partner’s breath, and the warmth of the man in front of him echoing the warmth of the sun on his back, John finally found himself relaxing. As his muscles unclenched and weighted themselves out, his body stilled but for his shallow breathing, and his thoughts came to rest in the perfection of the moment.
